a few weeks ago hurricane frances was making her way through much of the state of florida(aka the penis of the US), millions were told to evacuate, many smart people did evacuate, my mother did not.. so i spent my entire shift at work glued to the tv flipping between msnbc, cnn, and foxnews.. eventually the storm passed through and i had a stern talk to my mother, the queen of understatements ("oh it was just a little rainy and windy")
fast forward to this past weekend where i had been too sick with a headcold (damn santa anas) and too busy (damn happy hour) to even pay attention to what was going on outside of my own little world.. saturday night comes along and i turn on the tv as i lay down in bed and what do i see? "HURRICANE JEANNE JUST MADE LANDFALL" i didnt even know there was a hurricane jeanne much less one that was heading to hit florida again.. so there i am intensely watching and listening to those damn idiots grasping onto their microphones and trying to keep from blowing away right there on national television and i notice that this hurricane is heading directly toward the small redneck town my mother and brother like to call home.. so i gave her a call, i didnt give a fuck that it was 3:30 in the morning over there, I was nervous.. so yes, i did have to wake her up from her sleep, and no, she didnt even know if the hurricane was there yet because she was asleep. "are your windows boarded up?" i asked, "no its fine" was all she could say.. "but i did move my truck to the side of the house in case a tree falls over" she added.. WHAT THE HELL?? who gives a damn about the truck, now the damn tree is gonna fall on the house!
so there you have it, the storm went away as quickly as it came with nothing more than some loose branches flying around and a few bent street signs.. but ill tell you what, the next time i hear of a damn hurricane going towards my mothers house again, you bet your ass she and my little brother are on the first plane out headed nonstop to san diego!
